The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i out mim tonsoeep
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
