Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
