Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
