4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
