Pants 0. Shit 1.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
