she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
