and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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