So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
