Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
