I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
