I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize