I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
