Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
