last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
