you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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