That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
