we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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