The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You ate ashes out of my bong
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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