That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
