I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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