First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
