3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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