I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
