I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
