I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize