peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
