haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
