cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
