She said her name was "party"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
