I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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