Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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