This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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