i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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