10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What a dumb baby whore.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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