the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
