omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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