I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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