Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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