i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
