I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We need to get me chipped asap
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
