it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize