At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
