Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
