So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
