I'm going to jail i love you
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
