You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
