I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
