He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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