it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize