She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize