I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize