Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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