I want to have your abortion
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
