Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
