just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
