she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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