glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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