I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
