I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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