we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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