I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
