In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
