his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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