Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
