Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
