Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
