Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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