I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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